Everyone experiences Anxiety from time to time. Sometimes, it involves both physical and mental symptoms that create even more stress.
Here are 3 quick tips that can give you immediate relief:
FOCUS
When you’re anxious, your mind isn’t focused on NOW. It’s racing back into the past or into the future – to things that haven’t even happened yet.
The instant you realise that you are thinking negative thoughts, intentionally bring your focus back into the present – after all, that’s all that ever exists – this moment. Returning to full the awareness of NOW is really liberating because it allows you to realise that you can choose to control the focus of your thoughts.
So how do you practise mindfulness during anxious moments?
Start by controlling your breathing. Then look down on your body. Notice your clothes, your feet, and the comfort level you are experiencing at the moment. Notice any tension you feel at any part of your body. And slowly, release the tension and allow that part of you to soften.
Lastly, look around you. Notice all the details of your surroundings. When your mind starts to wander again, bring it back to the present. Don’t feel bad. It’s normal.
When anxiety-provoking moments strike, having an extra dose of laughter can be really helpful. Laughter is one simple and free tool that alleviates symptoms of anxiety and lifts your mood. When you laugh, the ‘happy hormones’ in your brain activate which gives you positive feelings.
It could be difficult to insert some laughter when you are already stressed out. So just like mindfulness, you want to intentionally make yourself feel better. Rest for a while. Watch a funny video or a comedy film. Chat with an amusing friend. Laughter is a great medicine.
put the past back in the past
Don’t let the past control you. If you hold grudges, you’re holding onto a poisonous feeling, so practice letting go and moving on. It may be a challenge but once you realise that even your worst nightmare was a massive opportunity for growth you instantly change the situation into a powerful lesson.
Healing takes time, letting go allows you to move forward with your own life, without harbouring all that negative energy you’re carrying.
Dealing with anxiety can be challenging, but give these techniques a try. Who knows – one, if not all, may ultimately free you from the unbearable world of anxiety.
Low self-esteem can show in many ways. Habits and behaviours, some of which you may try to hide and some you may not even be aware of.
Everything you do is a reflection on how you perceive and react to events in the outside world. From your body language to what you text, from the way you act after sex to who you invite to parties speaks volumes about your sense of self-worth.
You may be used to your own self-esteem habits and behaviours, you may even think they make you unique, but you’re wrong. Low self-esteem is a real problem that requires real solutions.
YOU MUST get your self-esteem in check because low self-esteem can sabotage your career, your relationships and your happiness. If somewhere deep down inside you never feel good enough, you’re more likely to stay in unfulfilling relationships and mediocre jobs. More so, you might create walls that keep you from having meaningful relationships with family, friends and loved ones.
Take a look at your life and habits, you may discover that the way you live your life screams “I have low self-esteem.” But knowing is the first step to improving your self-esteem and finding the inner strength to live a life that makes you genuinely happy.
Here are 10 signs you’re suffering from low self-esteem.
You Apologize For Living
If someone bumps into you on the street, do you apologize? People with low self-esteem often suffer from a faulty self-image, or an inaccurate view of their worth. Do you feel like everything that goes wrong is somehow your fault?
Solution: When you hear yourself apologizing, acknowledge that the apology is inappropriate and remind yourself that you did not do anything wrong.
You Claim Everything Is Luck
When something great happens to you, do you say you were just lucky, in the right place at the right time? Do you take things one step further and even say you don’t know why it happened because you’re not worthy?
The fact is that your talent, intelligence, and personality played a role in your success. But you continue to make irrational or dishonest self-statements. Other habits include not accepting compliments, deflecting praise, and criticizing others who are in the same boat.
Solution: When someone gives you a compliment, practice simply saying “thank you.” Also, why not own that you are awesome and you got that promotion because you are really good at what you do?
You Buy Things You Don’t Actually Like
Have you ever shopped and done so with the opinions of others in mind? Did you pick a path in life that you thought would impress your friends or parents instead of one that would advance your own dreams? Comparing yourself to others and living for approval are killers of both joy and self-esteem.
Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, or perhaps you can think about the similarities of others. Perhaps others are in the same situation as you, but showing it in different ways.
You Have That One Weird Habit
Do you pick your scabs; do you bite the skin around your nails or inside your mouth? Do you constantly scan your body or head for hairs that you can pluck? This is called compulsive self-mutilation – Trichotillomania – and it’s a common habit of people with anxiety or low self-esteem. It’s often a coping mechanism for uncomfortable feelings.
Solution: Try writing your feelings down in a journal to give yourself another outlet. You may need help from a therapist.
You Invite That Person You Hate To All Your Parties
People with low self-esteem are often very concerned about the opinions of others. They’re also very concerned with keeping the peace. It may be easier to socialise with your nemesis and let them treat you badly than to confront them about their behaviours you or remove them from your life.
Solution: Avoid exaggerating or catastrophizing the events in your life. Stop assuming that have no friends if you don’t socialise with that person you don’t like.
You Take More Naps Now Than You Did In Preschool
Low self-esteem has many physical side effects, fatigue being a major one. Naps could also be an avoidance tactic when you have a lot on your plate, or a sign of depression.
Solution: Try talking with a therapist to help improve the impact of low self-esteem on your life. You can also try practical tips, such as eating better, getting enough sleep at night, and exercising, to improve your energy.
You Sneak Out After Sex
Sneaking out after sex can mean that you got what you wanted and now you want to go home. Or it can mean you aren’t confident enough to think that the other person will still want to spend time with you once he or she has gotten what they want.
People with low self-esteem often have chaotic relationships that suffer due to constant feelings of unworthiness.
Solution: Before you get to the naked part of the evening, talk about expectations. Be blunt and trust your instincts.
You Check Your Phone For Non-Existent Messages
When there’s a lull in the conversation or when you’re left alone for a minute at a party or networking event, do you jump right to your phone instead of chatting or mingling?
Maybe you’re bored. Or maybe you’re not confident enough to think that other people want to talk to you or care about what you have to say. Poor social skills can be a tell-tale sign of low self-esteem, according to The Self Esteem Institute.
Solution: Scan the room for acquaintances and see if there’s someone you’re comfortable talking to. If not, check the room for other singles and say hey or introduce yourself. You might also look for activities you can join in on. The group setting might make you feel a little less on-the-spot as one-on-one conversations sometimes can.
You Tell Really Dumb Lies
Maybe you’re trying to keep the peace or maybe you don’t think the truth is interesting enough but you tell little white lies all the time.
Then later it’s a case of “OMG why did I say that?” This is common behaviour that points out that people with low self-esteem often wear masks or pretend to be something they’re not to gain approval.
Solution: Let yourself be vulnerable and explore the idea that people will still like you as you reveal your truths.
You Can Never Pick A Place To Eat
Do you frequently have the conversation “what do you want to eat?”, “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?” Not only do people with low self-esteem have trouble making simple decisions, they also frequently change their minds when they do decide something,.
Solution: Tell yourself “The world is not going to end if my partner or friend says, ‘No, I don’t want to go there, to eat this or do that.'”
If you find yourself doing a lot of these things, it may be time to take a good, hard look at your self-esteem. You might find that life is a lot easier (and more fun) when you have more belief in yourself.
There are two strong forces in this world that create a huge impact on our life – LOVE and FEAR.
They have conflicting effects on you. Love is the strong force that make you want to take risks, open yourself to the world, be vulnerable, get hurt, fail, get up, and try again.
Fear, on the other hand, is the force that pull us back from life, keeps us from moving forward, and makes us doubt ourselves more each day. Fear is a habit that brings us defeat, anxiety, despair and hopelessness.
But fear is something that is rooted within us. We don’t have to conceal it. We simply have to learn how to manage it. Mastering our fears is often a hard work and a very long journey.
But worry not, here are some tips that can make this journey truly worthwhile.
Realise that fear is only in our mind.
Fears are all in our mind. Like other negative emotions, fear can become dangerous only when we let it affect our behaviour. Therefore, we have the power to control it. The moment you start to feel afraid, don’t try to supress what you feel.
Acknowledge the fear, feel it and then analyze how likely your feared scenario is going to happen. What is the worst thing that could happen to you if you pursue it? Can it really happen? It is perfectly fine to feel scared. But it is not right to let our fear control us.
Focus more on the positives.
In every fearful thing that comes to your mind, think of one positive thing that happened to you on that day. Think of one thing you are grateful of, or one good deed you did. To downgrade the effects of fear, let your mind wander in positive thoughts and emotions. Imagine being at a beautiful place and allow yourself to feel comfortable feelings…
Congratulations, you’ve just experienced self-hypnosis.
Perhaps, consider making a gratitude journal. Every day, before you sleep, list down the three things you are most grateful of. This simple exercise can really make a big, big difference in your life.
Be vulnerable.
Seriously? We often think of being vulnerable as being fearful. But actually, one of the greatest features of courage is vulnerability. To master our fear, we have to allow ourselves to experience failure and criticism.
You don’t always have to be strong. You are a human being who is also capable of committing mistakes. Don’t be afraid to show to others your weaknesses. It is our weak points that make us more courageous.
Expose yourself to fear.
When it comes to fear, the only way out is through. Yes. One of the most effective ways to master fear is to face what we are afraid of. An overwhelming body of research tells us that the more we repeatedly expose ourselves to things we are fearful of, the lower our psychological fear response becomes.
It goes down further to the point that the fear gets manageable, and in some cases, gone. So the next time you are asked to speak in front of a big group, practice by making conversations with fewer people. The more you do a certain thing, the more you get better at it.
Manage stress.
Mastering fear is harder when you are stressed. Higher levels of stress contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, which in turn strengthen your fears. There are many natural techniques to fight stress and among the best are self-hypnosis, yoga and physical exercise.
Keep challenging yourself.
Last but not the least, always set yourself up for challenge. Haven’t tried traveling alone?
To build a courageous character, your courageous self must be exercised more often. Courage is a habit that we can develop by repeatedly practicing acts of bravery.
You don’t have to engage in life-threatening adventures. Small risks will do, such as trying out a different menu, learning a new craft, or studying a different culture.
To be successful in life, one of the most important things we need to learn is how to master our fears. Being courageous can make a big difference in our life. Basically, there is nothing we can do if we are surrounded by fears.
