Low self-esteem can show in many ways. Habits and behaviours, some of which you may try to hide and some you may not even be aware of.
Everything you do is a reflection on how you perceive and react to events in the outside world. From your body language to what you text, from the way you act after sex to who you invite to parties speaks volumes about your sense of self-worth.
You may be used to your own self-esteem habits and behaviours, you may even think they make you unique, but you’re wrong. Low self-esteem is a real problem that requires real solutions.
YOU MUST get your self-esteem in check because low self-esteem can sabotage your career, your relationships and your happiness. If somewhere deep down inside you never feel good enough, you’re more likely to stay in unfulfilling relationships and mediocre jobs. More so, you might create walls that keep you from having meaningful relationships with family, friends and loved ones.
Take a look at your life and habits, you may discover that the way you live your life screams “I have low self-esteem.” But knowing is the first step to improving your self-esteem and finding the inner strength to live a life that makes you genuinely happy.
Here are 10 signs you’re suffering from low self-esteem.
- You Apologize For Living
If someone bumps into you on the street, do you apologize? People with low self-esteem often suffer from a faulty self-image, or an inaccurate view of their worth. Do you feel like everything that goes wrong is somehow your fault?
Solution: When you hear yourself apologizing, acknowledge that the apology is inappropriate and remind yourself that you did not do anything wrong.
- You Claim Everything Is Luck
When something great happens to you, do you say you were just lucky, in the right place at the right time? Do you take things one step further and even say you don’t know why it happened because you’re not worthy?
The fact is that your talent, intelligence, and personality played a role in your success. But you continue to make irrational or dishonest self-statements. Other habits include not accepting compliments, deflecting praise, and criticizing others who are in the same boat.
Solution: When someone gives you a compliment, practice simply saying “thank you.” Also, why not own that you are awesome and you got that promotion because you are really good at what you do?
- You Buy Things You Don’t Actually Like
Have you ever shopped and done so with the opinions of others in mind? Did you pick a path in life that you thought would impress your friends or parents instead of one that would advance your own dreams? Comparing yourself to others and living for approval are killers of both joy and self-esteem.
Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, or perhaps you can think about the similarities of others. Perhaps others are in the same situation as you, but showing it in different ways.
- You Have That One Weird Habit
Do you pick your scabs; do you bite the skin around your nails or inside your mouth? Do you constantly scan your body or head for hairs that you can pluck? This is called compulsive self-mutilation – Trichotillomania – and it’s a common habit of people with anxiety or low self-esteem. It’s often a coping mechanism for uncomfortable feelings.
Solution: Try writing your feelings down in a journal to give yourself another outlet. You may need help from a therapist.
- You Invite That Person You Hate To All Your Parties
People with low self-esteem are often very concerned about the opinions of others. They’re also very concerned with keeping the peace. It may be easier to socialise with your nemesis and let them treat you badly than to confront them about their behaviours you or remove them from your life.
Solution: Avoid exaggerating or catastrophizing the events in your life. Stop assuming that have no friends if you don’t socialise with that person you don’t like.
- You Take More Naps Now Than You Did In Preschool
Low self-esteem has many physical side effects, fatigue being a major one. Naps could also be an avoidance tactic when you have a lot on your plate, or a sign of depression.
Solution: Try talking with a therapist to help improve the impact of low self-esteem on your life. You can also try practical tips, such as eating better, getting enough sleep at night, and exercising, to improve your energy.
- You Sneak Out After Sex
Sneaking out after sex can mean that you got what you wanted and now you want to go home. Or it can mean you aren’t confident enough to think that the other person will still want to spend time with you once he or she has gotten what they want.
People with low self-esteem often have chaotic relationships that suffer due to constant feelings of unworthiness.
Solution: Before you get to the naked part of the evening, talk about expectations. Be blunt and trust your instincts.
- You Check Your Phone For Non-Existent Messages
When there’s a lull in the conversation or when you’re left alone for a minute at a party or networking event, do you jump right to your phone instead of chatting or mingling?
Maybe you’re bored. Or maybe you’re not confident enough to think that other people want to talk to you or care about what you have to say. Poor social skills can be a tell-tale sign of low self-esteem, according to The Self Esteem Institute.
Solution: Scan the room for acquaintances and see if there’s someone you’re comfortable talking to. If not, check the room for other singles and say hey or introduce yourself. You might also look for activities you can join in on. The group setting might make you feel a little less on-the-spot as one-on-one conversations sometimes can.
- You Tell Really Dumb Lies
Maybe you’re trying to keep the peace or maybe you don’t think the truth is interesting enough but you tell little white lies all the time.
Then later it’s a case of “OMG why did I say that?” This is common behaviour that points out that people with low self-esteem often wear masks or pretend to be something they’re not to gain approval.
Solution: Let yourself be vulnerable and explore the idea that people will still like you as you reveal your truths.
- You Can Never Pick A Place To Eat
Do you frequently have the conversation “what do you want to eat?”, “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?” Not only do people with low self-esteem have trouble making simple decisions, they also frequently change their minds when they do decide something,.
Solution: Tell yourself “The world is not going to end if my partner or friend says, ‘No, I don’t want to go there, to eat this or do that.'”
If you find yourself doing a lot of these things, it may be time to take a good, hard look at your self-esteem. You might find that life is a lot easier (and more fun) when you have more belief in yourself.
You can read more about Low Self-esteem here.
If you know you have low self-esteem and want to do something about it,
book a FREE ‘Rapid change’ 25 min consultation right here.