Whatever we think, thoughts in some way affect our emotions, and our emotions then affect our actions.
Many of us tend to stick to unhealthy thought patterns that affect our own mental health. For instance…
Overgeneralizing
So, you didn’t close that one deal. That doesn’t mean you are not capable of closing anymore deals.
Just because you failed the interview with one company doesn’t mean you are going to fail the next ones as well.
This is called Overgeneralizing and it’s a very toxic habit that can significantly affect your mental health and well-being.
It can leave you feeling depressed and hopeless, and make it hard for you to maintain your motivation.
Catastrophizing
Sometimes, the way we view things are actually worse than the reality.
For instance, if your partner didn’t remember your anniversary, you might think that they are no longer interested in your relationship.
Or if you fell short of meeting your financial goal for the year, you might start worrying about your future, your mortgage and all other things.
Catastrophizing is energy-draining. At the same time, it also makes us lose our enthusiasm, and demotivates us.
When you feel like worrying too much, remind yourself that there are better possible outcomes for the situation.
Instead of focusing on the possibility that things won’t turn out great, shift all your energy and attention to finding solutions.
Labelling
Are you fond of labelling yourself? Instead of saying you have made a mistake, do you call yourself “stupid”?
When you don’t like the reflection you see on the mirror, do you call yourself “fat” or “ugly”?
Labelling yourself is same as limiting yourself. Labelling are for things, not for people. And you most certainly cannot be defined or described in just one or two words.
Personalization
When a friend didn’t answer your call or didn’t reply to your message on Facebook (even though she/he’s online), you might think that they are mad at you, or don’t want to talk to you.
If your boss is grumpy, you might conclude that he doesn’t like you.
When you take things personally, you start to hate yourself, wonder why you are not good enough, your self esteem plummets and the cycle of negative thoughts continue.
The next time you catch yourself personalizing things, take a step back and think about all the other possible factors that may be affecting the situation.
Perhaps your friend didn’t respond because they are busy, or your boss is grumpy because he or she had a bad morning.
Mind-reading
Whilst you can get a clue of how a person feels by looking at their gestures and facial expressions, you can never tell what exactly is in their mind (that is unless you’re a trained mind reader).
When your boss frowned upon hearing your suggestion it doesn’t mean he or she didn’t like it.
Maybe your boss came across a negative thought or remembered a not-so-good experience.
It is normal to indulge in negative thinking at times, that’s part of being human.
But you should not let those thoughts take control of your life, and prevent you from living the life you want.
Have a great day,
Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist
mynd.works