It can be really difficult to try lifting your self-esteem up during bad times – when you’re dealing with a disability, when you’re having a difficult time getting along with someone you care about, when you are being pushed to your limits at work, when you’re going through financial difficulties, and so on.
In times like these, all you can think to do is blame yourself for not being likeable, for not doing good enough, and for always failing.
You may even think of hurting yourself and giving up completely.
But in order to get through life’s adversities, self-esteem is of prime importance.
Below is a list of things you can do to raise your self-esteem.
You may notice that that along the way, your inner critical self will start to build resistance to prevent you from feeling better. But that’s okay.
Just carry on with your best efforts. Over time, you will find yourself feeling a lot better and more than capable of facing life’s challenges.
Treat yourself well.
Make it your daily goal to treat yourself well.
Take care of yourself by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest and sleep.
Avoid habits that could be detrimental to your health like smoking, excessive alcohol drinking, and negative thinking.
Talk to yourself in a polite way.
During tough times you might get caught up with the critical voices inside you saying “you are no better”, “you are a loser”, “you won’t ever get it right”, and so on.
Try not to get carried away with them. Instead, tell yourself “you can do this”, “you are smart”, and “you are capable of succeeding”.
Intentionally replace the negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
Spend time with friends and family.
Spend more time with people who treat you well and have genuine concern and care for you. Their support is vital to your self-esteem.
Avoid negative, difficult people who see nothing in you but your flaws. You don’t need them at this point in your life.
Start small.
Studies suggest that the small achievements we have can significantly boost our well-being and self-esteem.
As you look for the bigger outcome, be thankful of the little goals you have accomplished.
They will give you the confidence you need to survive a difficult challenge.
Forgive yourself.
If you didn’t make it this time, it’s okay. Don’t punish yourself for failing.
Don’t be too tough on yourself. Remember that mistakes are part of a successful journey as they give you an opportunity to expand your learning.
Forgiving yourself is a great way to raise your self-esteem rather than indulging in self-pity.
Don’t compare.
Comparing your life with that of other people and finding out that they excel in one area of life can further crash your self-esteem.
Comparing does not only make you feel unhappy. It is also unfair for that person, as you don’t know what they have gone through.
You are only seeing one aspect of their life. Instead of focusing on the success of others, you should try being better than you were yesterday.
Also, learn to accept yourself, including your limitations and weaknesses.
While there are things you can change, you also have to realise that there are things that you cannot change.
Loving yourself just the way you are is better you than hating yourself.
Do things you enjoy.
Don’t forget to give yourself a little downtime. You have been dealing with a lot of things in the past days, weeks or months.
You deserve to have a break. Do things that cheer you up, whether it’s baking, cooking, writing poems, sketching, or dancing.
Once you have restored, if not improved your self-esteem, you will find yourself effectively dealing with difficult situations you encounter in life.
I look forward to hearing your feedback, let me know how successful these techniques were for you, or please forward them onto to someone you may know that needs them.
Richard Scott
Clinical hypnotherapist