It’s a common assumption that self-esteem and self-confidence are the same things.
Self-esteem is commonly defined as how an individual “estimates” themselves. Those who answer ‘NO’ to ‘do I like myself’ or ‘do I deserve to be happy’ are often suffering from a lack of self-esteem.
Self-confident people can also suffer from low self-esteem. It’s common for actors, celebrities and public figures who appear to be overflowing with self-confidence, to totally lack self-esteem when away from the media or when they’re not performing.
Low self-esteem can show up in habits and behaviours, some of which you may try to hide and some you may not even be aware of.
Everything you experience is a reflection on how you perceive and react to events in the outside world. From your unconscious body language to how you write a text message, from the way you act after sex to who you invite to a party; It all speaks volumes about your sense of self-worth.
You may be familiar with your own low self-esteem habits and behaviours, you may think they make you unique, maybe even a little cute… but you’re mistaken. Low self-esteem is a problem that requires real solutions instead of being dressed up with an endearing label.
You MUST address any self-esteem issues because low self-esteem can sabotage your career, your relationships and your happiness.
If somewhere deep down inside you never feel good enough, you’re more likely to make hasty ‘emotional’ decisions and limit yourself to mediocre jobs. More so, you might create walls that keep you from having meaningful relationships with family, friends and loved ones.
Take a more meticulous look at your life and habits, you may discover that the way you live your life screams “I have low self-esteem.” Knowing is the first step to improving your self-esteem and finding the inner strength to live a life that makes you genuinely happy.
Here are 10 signs you may be suffering from low self-esteem.
You Have That One Weird Habit
Do you pick your scabs; do you bite your lip, the skin around your nails or inside your mouth? Do you constantly scan your body or head for hairs that you can pluck? This is called compulsive self-mutilation – Trichotillomania – and it’s a common habit of people with anxiety or low self-esteem. It’s often a coping or soothing mechanism for uncomfortable feelings.
Solution: When you notice this happening, try writing your feelings down in a journal to become aware of your triggers and to give yourself another outlet. You may need to seek help from a therapist to overcome the compulsion.
You Apologize For Everything
If someone bumps into you on the street, do you apologize? People with low self-esteem often suffer from a faulty self-image, or an inaccurate view of their worth. Do you feel like everything that goes wrong is somehow your fault? Are you always saying ‘Sorry’?
Solution: When you hear yourself unnecessarily apologizing, acknowledge that the apology is inappropriate and remind yourself that you did not do anything wrong.
‘Oh, I Was Just Lucky!’
When something great happens to you, do you say you were just lucky, in the right place at the right time? Do you take things one step further and even say you don’t know why it happened because you’re not worthy?
The fact is that your effort, talent, intelligence, and personality played a role in your success. But you continue to make irrational or false self-statements. Other habits include not accepting compliments, deflecting praise, and criticizing others who are in the same boat.
Solution: When someone gives you a compliment, practice simply saying “thank you.” Also, why not own that you are awesome and you achieved that result because you’re good at what you do?
You Buy Things You Don’t Actually Like or Need
Have you ever shopped and done so with the opinions of others in mind? Did you pick a path in life that you thought would impress your friends or parents instead of one that would advance your own dreams? Comparing yourself to others and living for approval are killers of both joy and self-esteem.
Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others, you don’t know the inner workings of others’ lives. They may be in the same situation as you, but showing it in different ways.
You Invite People You Don’t Even Like To Your Party
People with low self-esteem are often overly concerned about the opinions of others. They’re also very concerned with keeping the peace and ‘fitting in’. You may find it easier to socialise with your nemesis and let them treat you badly than to confront them about their behaviours you or remove them from your life.
Solution: Avoid exaggerating or catastrophizing the events in your life. Stop assuming that have no friends if you don’t socialise with that person you don’t like.
You Always Feel Tired
Low self-esteem has many physical side effects, fatigue being a major one. Naps could also be an avoidance tactic when you have a lot on your plate… or a tell-tale sign of depression.
Solution: Try talking with a therapist to help improve the impact of low self-esteem on your life. You can also try practical tips, such as eating better, getting enough sleep at night, and exercising, to improve energy and address chemical imbalance or nutrient deficiency.
You Sneak Out After Sex
Sneaking away after sex can mean that you got what you wanted and now you want to go home, which is quite selfish. However it can also mean you aren’t confident enough to think that the other person will still want to spend time with you once they have gotten what they want.
People with low self-esteem often have chaotic relationships that suffer due to constant feelings of unworthiness.
Solution: Before you get to the naked part of the evening, talk about expectations. Be blunt and honest, trust your instincts.
You Hide Behind Your Phone
When there’s a lull in conversation or when you’re left alone for a minute at a celebration or networking event, do you jump right to your phone instead of chatting or mingling?
Maybe you’re bored. Or maybe you’re not confident enough to think that other people want to talk to you or care about what you have to say. Poor social skills can be a tell-tale sign of low self-esteem.
Solution: Scan the room for acquaintances and see if there’s someone you’re comfortable talking to. If not, check the room for other singles and say ‘Hey’ or introduce yourself. You might also look for activities you can join in on. The group setting might make you feel a little less on-the-spot as one-on-one conversations sometimes can.
You Tell Really Dumb Lies
Maybe you’re trying to keep the peace or maybe you don’t think the truth is interesting enough but you tell little white lies all the time. Then later it’s a case of “OMG why did I say that?”
This is common behaviour that points out that people with low self-esteem often wear masks or pretend to be something they’re not to gain approval.
Solution: Let yourself be vulnerable and explore the idea that people will still like you as you reveal your truths.
You Can Never Pick A Place To Eat
Do you frequently have the conversation “what do you want to eat?”, “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?” Not only do people with low self-esteem have trouble making simple decisions, they also frequently change their minds when they do decide upon something.
Solution: Tell yourself “The world is not going to end if my partner or friend says, ‘No, I don’t want to go there, to eat this or do that.'”
If you find yourself doing a lot of these things, it may be time to take a closer look at your self-esteem. You might find that life becomes a lot easier (and more fun) when you have more belief in yourself.
If you know you have low self-esteem and it’s causing you some issues, do something about it. Book a FREE Consultation right here.