10 Realistic Pursuits to achieve.

We all have different dreams and aspirations in life. These things are what keeps us motivated to keep moving forward, even though we know it’s going to be difficult. Maybe you dream of putting up your own restaurant, travelling the world, buying a beautiful house, becoming a superstar or a popular athlete, taking a master’s degree in Harvard, etc.

No matter how big your dreams are, a big part of you says you will achieve them someday. But apart from these, there are other things that we should also put in our “dream list”. These are things that regardless of who you are, where you are now, and what you want to become – are essential to your success and happiness.

Whie getting them could be a challenge, they’re definitely worth the undertaking.

Love

On top of our list is love. That big house you’re dreaming of will not bring you much happiness unless it is shared with someone you can be with for the rest of your life.

While to love is to be vulnerable, it is one of the magical things that you could ever have in your life.

Good Health

Without good health, it is impossible to reach your dreams. Poor health is one major obstacle that can prevent you from attaining your goals.

Not only is it expensive, but not being in good health saps you of the energy and enthusiasm to keep moving. It affects your perspective and discourages you from pursuing your dreams. Health is wealth. It’s true. And we should treasure it like we treasure everything else that matters to us.

Sleep

Few people realise how important sleep is to their health, well-being and happiness. As you sleep, a lot of magical, good things happen within your body. Your organs, including your cells go through strenuous repair, thus, slashing your risk of illnesses and making you feel rejuvenated. A good amount of sleep each night is good for your body and soul.

Happiness

Your money in the bank will not give you happiness. It could give you pleasure, but only for a short whilst. This does not mean you have to stop working and earning money and trying to be rich.

What it means is that you should not think that early possessions are what gives us happiness. Happiness is not a destination. It is a journey. We wouldn’t find it from other people (not even from our partners).

We find it within ourselves – in the innermost part of us. Allow yourself to be happy. Live in the moment. Enjoy the ride. Happiness is just around the corner.

Kindness

In this cruel world, it is often hard to be kind. But compassion has been scientifically shown to increase happiness and satisfaction in life.

Being kind doesn’t mean you have to allow others to take you for granted, do someone else’s work, or give up everything you have to help those in need.

Being kind is more of being just, showing respect, and giving others some consideration. Be kind to yourself as well. You can’t be fully compassionate towards other people if you don’t love yourself.

Friendships

Friends will not only help you achieve your dreams, they can also make the journey easy and fun. Good friends are treasure you should not take for granted, but take good care of.

Fill your life with people who inspire you to become a better version of yourself, who always push you forward, and never leave you through the tough times.

Forgiveness

Another thing that is worth pursuing is forgiveness. Whether it’s directed to someone else or to yourself, forgiveness marks the start of healing. You don’t want to move forward with your life carrying a heavy burden of resentments, painful feelings and grudges. Let go of them. They don’t make your journey easy, rather tormenting.

Rest and Relaxation

Workaholic? It’s time to slow down a little. You are not a machine. You are a human being who feels tired from time to time. It is just right to give yourself rest and relaxation, every single day.

You can do anything but not everything. When you allow yourself to be lazy on a Sunday, give yourself a 30-minute to an hour of digital detox every day, or practise some calming medication exercise, you will realise that life can be so, so much better!

Meaningful Career

If you spend eight hours or more of your day in a job that does not feed your emotional, creative and intellectual needs, you should consider pursuing something else.

A meaningful career is one that feeds your passion and gives you a sense of pride in what you do. Of course, you will get tired and burned out from time to time. But at the end of the day, you still are thankful because you are able to pursue what you are passionate about.

Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself right now.  Be thankful for everything – even the smallest accomplishments and positive experiences you’ve had. Gratitude is not only good for your health, it also puts you in the right perspective when times get rough.

Let me know your thoughts and have a great day.

Richard Scott
Clinical hypnotherapist

The secrets to a happier 2015

It’s now February, the second month of 2015.
How are your New Year’s resolutions going so far?

Quit smoking, lose weight, perhaps you’re aspiring to achieve better health and financial security this 2015, maybe you also want to aim for a happier and more fulfilling life. There’s no exact formula for happiness. It is a product of positive habits and traits that you should incorporate in your daily life.

So, to start your year right – with lots of positivity and cheer – here are some essential tips for you:

Replace negativity and complaints with gratitude.

Our brain has the natural tendency to favour bad thoughts than the positive ones. Experts call it the “negativity bias”. But if we are going to intentionally pay more attention to positive thoughts, we can be happier.

Research by Shelley Gable of the University of California, Los Angeles, and Jonathan Haidt of the University of Virginia suggests that we actually have three times more positive experiences than negative. Try replacing negativity and complaints with gratefulness. This is a good way to train your mind to become more optimistic.

Live in the present.

Avoid hyper-focusing on the future or the past. A large body of research suggests that mindfulness or awareness of the present moment, is one key to happiness.

Laugh more.

A lot of times, we take life too seriously. Try to inject silliness in your day to day experience. Whether it’s watching a funny movie or video clip or playing charades with your friends or kids, do something that makes you laugh.

Seek your passion.

No matter how busy you are with your work or personal obligations, make it a goal to purse things or hobbies that you are passionate about. Don’t frown if you still don’t know what it is, just give yourself more time to discover and explore.

Surround yourself with cheery individuals.

Happiness is contagious. This year, try to spend more time with positive people – those who can influence to change your thoughts positively. A 2013 study by Harvard University and University of California found that a friend who lives close to the happy person has a 25 per cent higher likelihood of becoming happy too.

Get inspired.

When you are inspired, you are able to do things with enthusiasm and zeal. Find inspiration and motivation from everything, from a quote you see on the internet to a lovely song or an advice from a friend.

Recognise and accept your emotions.

It’s normal to feel sad and down at times. You don’t have to deny or ignore these unwanted feelings. You actually have to recognise them to understand their causes. This way, you can focus on the situation with mental clarity and give yourself a chance to resolve your problems in a more effective way.

Replace self-criticism with self-compassion.

Self-criticism weakens you while self-compassion strengthens your resilience, happiness and productivity. Love yourself a little more. If there’s anyone who should love you first, it should be no other but you.

Invest in healthy relationships.

Relationships are at the heart of happiness. You can find happiness in the relationships you make with other people. This year, plan to spend more time cultivating friendships. Think about how you can be a true friend to your partner, to your kids and parents, to your colleagues and all others around you.

Hope these tips can contribute to a happier and more fulfilling year in your life.
Once again, happy New Year!

Richard Scott
Clinical Hypnotherapist